Swahili
by RefinedOrderlySincereElegant
Summary: Ah, Swahili, the language of love...Oh, it isn't? It was for Ron and Hermione...bad summary. ONESHOT RonHermione


**Disclaimer: The Potterverse doesn't belong to me casa, no sue casa. And that goes double for me.**

**AN: I can't believe I actually posted this. It was something I wrote when I was bored, no preplanning, it just happened. Also, this is, more or less, the first draft, so it's probably chalk loaded with grammar and punctuation mistakes, and no good. If you all hate it enough I'll take it down. If you don't hate it tell me so, because I probably will end up taking it down otherwise…Oh, and I don't know Swahili, I just looked all those phrases up online, so if any of them are incorrect, I'm sorry. And I haven't stopped working on Misunderstandings; this was just something I wrote because I was bored…**

_

* * *

I love Hermione! _

Ron's eyes widened at the realization.

_I love Hermione! I love her! I LOVE HER!_

He had to tell her!

He ran down the stairs…

…and crashed right into her.

_Excuse me._

"I love her!"

_Oops…I did that backwards…_

"What?" Hermione said.

_This is it…just tell her…you can do it!_

_No, I can't._

"I-I mean…" he stuttered, brain working harder then it had ever done on schoolwork, "I mean…hi lover! _NO_! That's not what I mean! What I meant was…oliver!"

"Oliver?" she repeated.

"Yes, it means…excuse me…in…Swahili," he said.

"Okay…oliver," she said.

"What? Oh!" he jumped aside to let her by.

She started past him but at the last minute he reached out held her back.

"Wait…Hermione…"

"Yes?" she said, looking up at him expectantly.

"Er…never mind…" he said and let go, starring at his feet.

She looked at him curiously, then turned around and went upstairs.

_Idiot, idiot, IDOIT! Now what do I do?_

-:-

Hermione was reading in bed when she heard a tap on the window. She looked up to see Pigwidgeon with a note attached to his leg.

_That's strange, if Ron has something to say to me, why doesn't he just come up here and say it?_

She opened the window and removed the note from Pig's leg, who then proceeded to fly a few victory laps for successfully delivering the letter from the floor above.

Hermione opened the letter to reveal a short message in messy writing.

_Nukupenda._

_-Ron_

_What the…?_

-:-

Ron wrung his hands nervously, pacing back and forth.

_What did I do that for? What possessed me? What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she doesn't get it? What if she mistranslates it…what if _I _mistranslated it? What if nukupenda is really some kind of terrible insult? What if she never speaks to me again? What if it's some insult so horrible that she takes the note to the Swahili Aurors and they throw me in Azkaban? What if it causes Hermione so much distress that the Swahili people decide to make Hermione their queen to make up for the fact that they created a word that caused her so much grief, then decide that she needs a king and she gets married to some Swahili bloke? Or what if the Swahili people are huge quidditch fans (and they must be, after all, who isn't?) and decide that the perfect king for their beloved Queen Hermione is Viktor Krum? What if they then decide that they need to have seven kids, so that they can make a quidditch team? What if they decide they need an eighth to be the announcer? What if they decide that they need to have enough kids for _two_ teams, so that the teams can play against each other? What if some of the kids don't want to be quidditch players or announcers and they need more?_

This went on for quite a while, and would have gone for longer still if there hadn't been a knock on the door right as he was thinking, _And what if the 'Everyone Hates Ron' song and dance routine becomes a world wide sensation?_

He opened the door.

It happened so fast he wasn't quite sure _what_ happened. One moment he was standing face to face with Hermione and next thing he knew he was locked mouth to mouth with her, but he wasn't complaining…until she pulled away, that is.

"Samahani," she said.

"Huh?" he said.

"That's what excuse me _really_ is in Swahili," she said.

"Oh," he said.

"But that's probably not what you wanted me to say, is it?" she said.

"I _was_ sort of expecting something else…"

"I love you too," she said. "Nukapenda wewe, if you prefer."

"That's what I was hoping you say," he said. "But I kind-of liked 'excuse me.'"

"Oh?" she said, brows furrowed in puzzlement. "How come?"

"Because," he said, "kissing me and then saying 'excuse me' to _me_ seems like kissing me and then saying 'may I be excused' which is a question, which means I could say _no_, and not excuse you from the kiss."

"I see your point," she said smiling.

She tilted her head upward, and he lowered his face down towards hers, but right before there lips touched she said, "It's hapana, by the way."

"What?" he said.

"'Hapana' means 'no' in Swahili," she said.

"Hermione, there are only two sentences I care to know in Swahili and then I'll be happy to be done with it forever," he said.

"Okay, what two sentences?" she said.

"The first one is: will you be my girlfriend?" he said.

"I don't know how to say that," she said.

"And I thought you were the Swahili expert!" he said.

"No, I just looked up what 'Nukapenda' meant, then how to say I love you, too, then how to say excuse me because I was curious as to whether it was actually oliver or not, then, out of curiosity, I looked up a few other things," she said.

"Typical Hermione, you only have to learn one saying, and you end up learning half the language," he said.

She blushed.

"But you don't know how to say 'will you be my girlfriend?'" he asked.

"No, but I do know how to say 'Ndio!'" she said.

"And what does that mean?" he said.

"That means 'yes,'" she said. "So what's the second question you want to know how to say?"

"The second question is: can I kiss you now?" he said.

She laughed, "Ndio!"

END

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**AN: Ack, that was horrible. And they weren't in character at all, were they? I mean, was there anything in there that was at all like something Ron or Hermione would actually do? I think I did Pigwidgeon some justice, though. Tell me what you think. Review, please! Those of you who don't like to reveiw, could you please just leave me a number between one and ten (one being atrocious and ten being amazing)? You don't have to say anything else, just a number between one and ten to give me some idea of how horrible (or, possibly, not horrible) it is, please. I'd really appreciate it!**

**Thank you.**


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